Sempiternal
by lightningreveals
Summary: Dimitri told me that his love had faded, and Lissa basically eliminated me from her life since I apparently 'ambushed' him. The only two people I cared about and needed had pushed me away, and life just didn't feel like living anymore. I had to stick around though, because unfortunately no matter how much they had hurt me, I still had duties to protect them. So, I faked my death.
1. Prologue

**_Disclaimer- Vampire Academy does not belong to me, it was written and created by the ever-talented Richelle Mead. Unfortunately, that means I don't own sexy Dimitri Belikov either. Seriously, I totally wouldn't mind that. If I could I would._**

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_Prologue_

"Love fades. Mine has"

As those four words tumbled out of Dimitri's mouth, my whole world came crashing down, and reality finally sunk in. It was hard to believe that four measly words could alter my life so much. I always believed that he just needed time to recover — no, I didn't think he would be fine straight away. No sane mortal would be. I just assumed that out of all the people he would run to when his soul had been saved, it would be the person that had broken several laws and gone on a suicide mission for him.

I guess Ms Karp really was right- words can harm much more than actions. When the teacher had stumbled upon me in the woods when I was in 4th grade, I just assumed she was on one of her crazy rants that the older students always made fun of. Even after, I had never believed that there was any way that simple sounds could ever harm someone more than physical assault. Now, as that memory floated through my brain, it all made sense. For a women gradually going mad from magical darkness, she really knew her shit.

There was no more I could do to gain his love. The game was over; the battle was lost. I just had to move on with life and forget him. How I would do that, I didn't know — there would always be a piece of my heart reserved for Dimitri Belikov. There was no humane way that could remove his presence from my mind.

I held his eyes for a moment, before deciding to take the high road.

"As you wish," I whispered, scooting over a few spaces away from him. I couldn't leave now without people getting suspicious — not that they weren't already, but rumours spread like rapid fire in Court, and I couldn't risk it.

As I sat there, zoning out from the service, I made a game plan. First step would be breaking up with Adrian. I couldn't keep leading him on like this, I cared too much about him to pretend that he was my one and only. From there, I had one of two tough choices — stay at Court so as to be close to Lissa, whilst just avoiding Dimitri as much as possible, or to go straight to Hans and demand to be assigned to anyone that lived outside of Court. I hadn't been given an assignment yet, though I highly doubt they would allow the reckless teenager with an impressive amount of black marks on her record to guard the last of a Royal line.

The service ended, and I exited along with the rest of the audience. I headed to Adrian's to break up with him — the sooner the better. Hopefully he wouldn't take it too hard, but you could never tell with the increasingly uncontrollable madness seeping through the edges.

* * *

I left Adrian's flat, surprised that he had actually taken it really well. He said that he knew that this was bound to happen; that he couldn't continue pretending to himself that this fantasy relationship was reality. That if I didn't make the first move soon, he would've done it so as to spare us both the heartbreak and torture. We agreed to be friends, and honestly, I believed that this friendship would work out. I knew that he would always have my back, and I him.

Strolling through the gardens outside the Chapel, I sat down amidst the tulips to admire them and enjoy my newfound freedom. This didn't last long though; it never did.

While I was marvelling at my new find — a four leafed clover — I received a message through the bond.

_Rose! Get over here, now! _Her voice sounded urgent, but a quick check through the bond revealed that she was safely locked away within her apartment in the Royal housing.

Still, I shoved the clover in my pocket and leapt off the ground before I practically ran to her apartment. Boy, was she pissed. I could feel it radiating off her soul. I had rarely seen–or felt–her this angry.

I raised my hand to knock, but the door swung open. Lissa stood there, no longer a Princess — there was a raging battle upon her face, and she looked as though she would smash anything and everything that messed with her. _When I get my hands on whoever fucked with Lissa, they're going to wish they never-_

"Rose!" Lissa yelled, and I walked inside while she slammed the door shut behind me. I swear, the walls were vibrating.

"Liss, who did what? I swear, they're gonna wish they-"

"How could you not know who did it?" She hissed at me.

"What? Liss, I don't-"

"It's so damn obvious, Rose! How could you be so blind?" She shouted, her face fuming up to a perfect beetroot red.

"Lissa. Who was it?"

"Who was it? Who was it?" She screamed, getting hysterical. "First you _ambush_ him in a public facility, and now you have the nerve to ask who it was?"

"Is that what this is about? The Chapel? Because Lissa, I swear I didn't ambush him. I swear, I never-"

"Get out." She growled, pointing furiously at the door.

"Liss, I-" I pleaded, but it was no use.

"GET OUT! You have NO right to call me that anymore! You ruined everything! Can you not even follow the rules for _once_ in your life? Get out, and don't think about seeing Dimitri or I ever again. Hell, why don't you just leave? No one would have to feel any more pain! _You're_ the reason why all our lives suck. If _you_ weren't here, everyone's lives would be so much happier!" She ranted, running out of breath. At this point, I wasn't sure if the words leaving her mouth were darkness induced or raw, but I had had just about enough of it. Her words were so powerful that I decided that I might just take her up on her offer.

"Fine! I'm done following the rules. All I've done my whole life is follow your stupid little requests. You think _your_ life is ruined? Well how about mine? I've sacrificed my whole life time and time again for you, for everyone! I put my life on the line daily for you, and I'm never going to be able to explore the world or raise my children because of you! At the end of the day, _I'm_ the heroine and _you're_ still the selfish little brat. How about you think about how much better my life would be without _you_?" I screamed at the top of my lungs. If the other tenants couldn't hear this, then they must be deaf.

"Honestly, Lissa," I spat, "I guess Dimitri was right. Love does fade. Even the platonic kind," and with that I slammed the door shut behind me.

* * *

Back at my apartment, I pulled out a suitcase and started packing. I didn't know when I was leaving, where I was going or what I was going to do, but I knew that I had to be prepared.

When everything was packed, I sat on the bed, working on my next move. After staring into space for quite a while, I decided what I was going to do.

I lugged my suitcase and two duffel bags out to one of the SUV's, making sure to stay concealed. I made my way back to the apartment, picking up the only two things I had left from the nightstand._  
_

_I could've easily left without telling you, but I guess I should considering I don't know when I'll see you again._

_I've gone to sacrifice myself to the Strigoi._

_Hope to see you soon. Don't wait up._

_Love, R._

With that written, I folded it up and scrawled _Everyone I care about (oh, and I guess Lissa as well) _on the top flap in big, bold letters. I laid the letter on my bed, where it would be obvious. I slipped Lissa's _chotki_ on top of the letter, marking it like a headstone.

Giving one last man-eater grin at the security cameras over my shoulder, I flounced out of the room. Walking down the hallway, I overheard some voices at the reception desk.

"I promise you, she's fine. I just saw her coming back from the garages not ten minutes ago."

"No one would be fine after what I overheard Lissa say. Please, just let me know she's okay."

"I'm sorry Adrian, that would be a breach of protocol and privacy."

"Please, Guardian Tanner. If not for me, then for Rose, She needs a friend right now."

"Uh- I really shouldn't be doing this, but here's the key. Do you want me to escort you?"

_Shit! This is my cue. Soon enough they'll be sniffing my trail like sharks and a nosebleed._

I bounded down the stairs two at a time, reaching outside in a flash. I stuck to the shadows of the buildings to conceal myself.

Doing this in Moroi daytime had its lows but it also had its perks. Worst case scenario, someone saw me. That was all, no-one would question a Guardian running errands during the day. I would be able to stick to the shadows, heck, if need be the crowds would conceal me. I would be able to get out of here easily, and it was 3am, so the roads would be mostly clear.

Reaching the garages, I snatched the keys for vehicle 5 off the hook. Like all other Guardian cars, this was a black SUC. Practical, great for off-roading. I hopped in the car and plunged the key into ignition, but that was where the rush ended. I anyone saw this car speeding through Court, it would arouse suspicion. I had to act as normal as possible.

The Guardian at the gate asked me for my name, to which I replied "Guardian Hathaway." They could imagine whichever Hathaway female they wanted, as long as it got me out of here quickly.

I flashed my ID, conveniently concealing my first name with my thumb. The window was tinted and only opened far enough for me to poke my hand out, so my head remained unseen.

"Reason for leave?"

"Personal matters," I replied. I technically wasn't lying.

"Expected time of arrival?"

"Unsure." Hey, I still wasn't lying.

"Permission for leave granted." The huge wrought iron gates opened, and I wound the window back up as I drove through.

Now, I just had to put as much distance between myself and Court, as well as finding a suitable car to switch to.

As I drove, I really started to think about the consequences. Everything from the past few hours flew around in my head — the actions, the words. It all sunk in, and I realised what I had done.

I had ditched my ex-best friend and bondmate.

I had finally accepted my ex-lovers refusal of my love.

I had possibly left several people distraught, people who would no-doubt spend a countless amount of time and money to search for my undead state.

I had just faked my own death.

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**How did you like it? Should I continue it? Do you want the gang to find Rose and discover that she faked her own death, or should she go into hiding?**

**This idea has been running around my head for a while, so I finally decided to publish it! Sorry if the updates aren't as often as I would like, I will try to update on a weekly schedule, however I have another fanfic that holds more priority. Check it out if you haven't already! ;)**

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_**Check my profile for links to my VA Facebook page, Twitter, Tumblr, Ask. fm and personal Instagram!**_


	2. IMPORTANT AN: GETTING MY SHIT TOGETHER

p style="text-align: center;"strongI know, I know! It's been a while!/strong/p  
p style="text-align: center;"strongDon't despair, I AM still continuing this story, and I most definitely haven't forgotten about it! In fact, quite the complete opposite./strong/p  
p style="text-align: center;"strongThis story WILL be continued, I just have so many ideas that I'm taking some time to figure out what direction I should go in./strong/p  
p style="text-align: center;"strongSeriously. All my thoughts have collided and I have a few notes both on my phone and on paper, trying to sort things out./strong/p  
p style="text-align: center;"strongI actually have so many things that I want to happen; so many directions I want to take this! However, if I included them all, they would completely clash and the plot just wouldn't quite match up./strong/p  
p style="text-align: center;"strong I'm recruiting a little help, though—and sorting out my shit—so hopefully a new chapter will be up soon! xx/strong/p  
p style="text-align: center;"strongTVAL./strong/p 


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